Most of you know I don’t want to send M to preschool. Intuitively, I want to keep him with me one more year – doing what we’ve been doing all along – hopefully helping him grow into a confident, capable boy with a caring heart.
I operate on intuition a lot. This doesn’t mean logic and reason don’t come into play when I make decisions – they definitely do. It just means that I am comfortable listening to my feelings and examining what my heart is telling me. I have found that, quite often, my heart is picking up on easy-to-miss little things and whispering to me to pay attention!.
Intuition has “told” me of many engagements, new lives, even deaths, before I actually heard the news. My family is never surprised when I know something before they tell me.
Intuition told me to stay home with my new baby and let the world of work rush by without me; that what he really needed was for Mama to hold him and love him and know him, and that if I just did that everything else would fall into place.
Intuition had me at his side those first few weeks, loving him and bonding with him, hurrying to his side whenever he cried. And intuition is what told me that in the natural course of things he wouldn’t always be so needy, and that at 6 months I would respond a tiny bit differently than at 6 weeks, and a bit more differently at a year, and so on. I felt, quite often at that time, that I was being judged (although it could very well have just been those hormones!) for jumping up whenever he needed me. When I began teaching him that he needed to be patient for mama and that mama would always come, but that sometimes learning to go to sleep is important too I would let him cry for a few minutes (never much though, to be honest). And I distinctly remember seeing looks exchanged between people, as if to say – “wow, she’s finally learned!” But the truth is, it was just intuition telling me that a baby at one year has different needs than a baby at 6 weeks. It was a sense of his development and just knowing in my heart what he was ready for and what was best for our family. I would still rush to a new baby as soon as possible if he cried!
Intuition is telling me, in a bit more than its usual whisper, that preschool is not right for M. Not right now anyway. Who knows, things may change by fall, I don’t know. I do try to keep my mind open and pray that what is right and best for him is what ends up happening. No matter how much I pray though, I keep coming back to the thought that as M’s mother, God has given me this gift of intuition to help me know what the right thing to do is. As his mother, I understand and know him better than anyone else. I am the primary advocate of his well-being, and it’s a job I don’t take lightly.
For his sake, as well as my own peace of mind, I want to take what I am feeling intuitively, and support it with reason. There are a few factors that I want to explore and write about in relation to preschool:
- socialization, especially in light of the fact that he is naturally an introvert and can be a bit shy at times.
- academics – what is being taught in the preschool that we would send him to, and how this lines up with what he needs, wants, and is developmentally ready for, as well as what we want for him.
- the idea of “mothering” him too much – does he, at this age, need formal school time away from me? If so, why?
I’m trying to be so orderly about getting my thoughts put down on paper (cyber paper, that is), and it’s not an easy task for this jumbled up brain of mine. :) Hopefully over the next few weeks I’ll be able to write posts about all of these things. Feedback is so very, very appreciated!
Have a beautiful day! :)