Too Much To Do (or a lazy mom whines)

 

“I used to think that we can have almost anything we want from life, that it’s just a question of organization.  But now I’m beginning to think that we have to make a choice more often than we’d like.  The important thing is to make sure that it’s our choice, no one else’s, and that we make it honestly.”
- Adam Dalgliesh in Death of an Expert Witness, by P.D. James

I just can. not. fit it all in. 

After being sick most of December and having some set backs in January, I have been feeling overwhelmed with the daily stuff that life is made of.  I want to blog… but then when it comes down to it, I’d rather read a good book, soak in the tub, or stare at a blank wall. 

I keep thinking I need to write in my journal for M – all these things I want to remember – things I want him to remember – words of wisdom… that sort of thing.  But well, when it comes down to it… it just hasn’t been happening.  (I hope that doesn’t make me a bad mother, because I’m afraid this is just the way it’s going to be for a while.)

I’m trying to organize some trouble spots in our home, our time, and the two pack rats I live with.  Or trying to at least live with them without going crazy.  Ok, more honestly, trying to figure out how to throw things away without them noticing. ;)

I’ve been rediscovering my passion for sewing and crocheting and creating beautiful things with my hands.  I’ve even taken up loom-knitting.  I am a crocheter through and through, but I do understand that a knitted something-or-other is nice to have sometimes too. ;)

I’m trying to work out the struggle inside that I’m having with facing these final months of small-childhood for M… the last of our days completely together; this time when I can see so clearly into his heart and mind. 

I’m in the process of opening an Etsy store (don’t hold me to this, I’m only mentioning it in the hopes that it will actually make me work on it), revamping my blog, and creating a new site to house the free printables I offer.  I’m working on an Easter e-book with a friend, and creating some reading helps for M’s “school time”.  I’m putting together a space unit and an ocean unit, and thinking about plans for learning about how the human body works.

I think there are some reviews I’m supposed to be working on too.

And then there are friends, family, daily housekeeping, raising a small boy who wants my every minute, errands, and social events.

Sheesh.  But seriously, how do you make choices to not do some of these things?   They all seem so necessary… or else are things I really enjoy!  I’ve realized that I’m so busy trying to organize everything into something manageable that I’m losing peace and joy in the struggle.  Sometimes choices have to be made! 

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed?  How do you cut back, or even choose the areas in which to cut back?

There are so many interesting things I want to share with you, so I’m going to try to get back into blogging.  I’m hoping to share the basics of  the reading program we are going through, and our arts and crafts activities a couple of times a month.  I want to write about all the amazingly good books we’ve been reading and how we are fitting more books than ever into our days, our new chore system (new as in started 6 months ago, but just not written about yet), and lots of other things… look for some good announcements soon about a few of the things I’m working on. :)

Thanks for reading, and letting me vent (I am amazed to see that my readership has gone up over the past few months instead of down – you are all so appreciated!). 

Here’s to getting back into the swing of things!

Have a beautiful day! :)

A Slow Advent

Oh, this poor little neglected blog of mine.

This Advent has not gone exactly as planned.  Not at all as planned, actually.  There’s been a month’s worth of sickness and many, many things have just been laid aside.  I am ashamed to say I’ve turned to store-bought craft kits to keep M busy.  There is nothing wrong with these really, but they aren’t exactly the memory-making activities I had hoped for.  Maybe we will get to them during the actual Christmas season (which lasts from Christmas day to Epiphany), or maybe not.  I am thankful to just be well and functioning again, to be honest.

M was sick the first week of Advent, and then for almost two weeks it was my turn.  I was couch-bound, watching the house get messier and messier through feverish eyes, and not caring.  That nasty flu finally caught up with this anti-flu-shot girl, and gave me quite a beating.  We all had it to a degree, but somehow I was the lucky winner of the worst case.  Poor M was getting his own breakfast and lunch most days!  He felt very proud, but it hurt this mama’s heart a tiny bit to see him taking care of himself like that.  And then I had an awful case of pink eye, you know, just to round things off nicely.  That meant no cuddling or snuggling with anyone, which after being sick for a long time is just incredibly depressing! 

But somehow I was given the grace to realize that Advent is all about waiting and hoping and remembering just exactly where to look for the joy.  I woke up on Joy Sunday (3rd Sunday of Advent), unable to go to church, again.  And I wondered, just what was it I was supposed to be joyful about? None of my plans were actually happening, the house was a disaster, and I was being treated like a pink-eyed leper. 

But time and time again, these past few months, I’ve been brought to a place where I’m gently reminded that fulfillment, joy, etc. are not found in plans, good times, or even health.  Joy is found in placing hope – confident hope – in God and His goodness and love and mercy.  Hoping for what I know is coming… Who I know is coming.  Each evening of this Advent when we’ve managed to have our little devotional time, M places a straw (length of yarn) in our manger and whispers, “Come, Baby Jesus, be born in our hearts.”   The simple and even boring Advent that has been our lot this year has, in the end, become a greater blessing in a way than a lot of fun and good times could ever be (although fun and good times are blessings too!).  Our emptiness is slowly being filled with an amazing sense of anticipation – the joy of knowing that what we truly hope for, what we most need, is coming soon. 

We are better this week, finally getting back to normal.  But we are not going to try to fit a lot in.  We are going to work on preparing our fantastically messy home and our hearts for the Love that is on its way.  I’m just going to go slowly through the days, and savor the sense of anticipation as much as I can. 

M has recently discovered Johnny Cash, and as I write this, Hey Porter is on (blaring even, you might say), and these particular lines are perfect:

“Go tell that engineer to make
that lonesome whistle scream.
We're not so far from home,
so take it easy on the steam.”

Blessings,